Thursday, December 22, 2011

Paraphnelia and some cowrie shells ;)

Just some random unassorted statemnts I heard in the past few days -

"There are many kinds of dogs - furry dog, vodafone dog, guard dog......"

"If keep a dog at home, it will at the most bark at or bite stangers. But if we keep a tiger at home, it will eat them."

"What is the use of keeping the tiger as the national animal if we don't know if they would be there in the future?"

[The above three were exercepts from my sister's ICSI meeting (or training programme or something of that sort.) And the topic on which these were spoken was "The Dog should be made the National Animal of India". As if this wasn't enough, the other topic was "Lungi should be made the formal corporate dress." Wow!! Just showed the "high" IQ and GK level of our very talented commerce students of India. And some people still think I should have gone to commerce!!]

"The Great Wall of China is 27 km long, right?"

[No prizes for guessing who got this one. Its yet another Commerce student :) These honours go to my cousin, who had come to visit the house (who, incidentally, was literally shocked on hearing the fact that mosquito bites could cause major diseases). Long live commerce!!]

"If moths are attracted to the light, how come they sleep during the day? :) "

[This one is from the back of the Aim matchboxes. Why it is there is anybody's guess and concern; but I would like to clear this common misnomy about moths, or as we call them "Diwali ke macchar" (Mosquitoes of Diwali, as they come during the diwali time every year [October]). Moths are NOT attracted to the light. (And no commerce students, any theories that you might be currently thinking of, that they are attracted to heat etc are incorrect. So dont bother thinking.) They are actually attracted to the DARK!!!!!! And as we all (science students) know, the darkest place is behind the source of light!!!!]

"The Eucalyptus tree drains out all the water from the soil, and so no other tree can grow around it"

[I don't vouch for the correctness or the incorrectness of this statement. Just overheard this statement in a conversation in Bengali in a bus (while I was not sleeping in the bus!!)]

"The difference between a mathematician and a philosopher is that the mathematician only needs a pen, a paper and a dustbin, while the philosopher can work without the dustbin"

"Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip? To get to the same side!!!"

And now, some thoughts from my own -


Humour is solely the product of the knowledge or the ignorance of certain facts, events or things.


When we yawn, it is called a yawn. When a lion yawns, it becomes a roar.


Whenever a mistake is repeated by many, it becomes the rule.


A hello is nothing more than the acknowledgement of the existence of another being. Apart from being a waste of time


Due to English being so prone to deterioration, Mandarin will soon be the dominant language of the world. Ni Hao!!


Before the tiger, the lion was the national animal of India.

And a tiger is called a Bagh, not Sher, which would be the lion. (Far too many people make this mistake) Therefore Sher Khan should have been a lion, and the tiger should have been called as "Bagh Khan" or "Bagheecha"!!


If the world were run by scientists, and not politicians, the world would have been so much more efficient and consistent.


Humour, merriment, folly, enjoyment (et cetera) are all short-lived, and therefore pointless. Better to learn something new.


Time and tide wait for no man. Oh crap! This world is so gender-biased!!


God does not play dice. And neither do I.

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